Movie Night At The Warehouse
by newbluemoon
Summary: The team are watching Star Wars together and begin to notice the correlations between Leia/Han and a certain point man and his favourite forger, much to Arthur's chargrin. Eames/Arthur. CRACK WARNING! Written for the kink meme, prompt inside.


**Disclaimer: My brain is too small to come up with Inception. I'll leave that to the great mind of Mr Nolan. I'm just playing with his characters.  
Summary: Written for this prompt at inception_kink;**

"_Han: Hey! Your worship, I'm only trying to help.  
Leia: Would you please stop calling me that?  
Han: Sure…Leia.  
Leia: You make it so difficult sometimes.  
Han: I do. I really do. You could be a little nicer, though. C'mon admit it, sometimes you think I'm alright.  
Leia: Occasionally, maybe, when you aren't acting like a scoundrel.  
Han: Scoundrel? Scoundrel…I like the sound of that.  
Leia: Stop that. [as Han reaches for her hand]  
Han: Stop what?  
Leia: Stop that. My hands are dirty.  
Han: My hands are dirty too. What are you afraid of?  
Leia: Afraid?  
Han: You're trembling.  
Leia: I'm not trembling.  
Han: You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life.  
Leia: I happen to like nice men.  
Han: I'm a nice man.  
Leia: No, you're not… [as she kisses Han]_

_CAN WE HAVE SOME FIC THAT DESCRIBES HOW PERFECTLY THIS SCENE WOULD WORK ARTHUR AS LEIA AND EAMES AS HAN? Replace "your worship" with "darling" and it's perfect."_

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"_I'm a nice man."_

"_No, you're not…"_

Princess Leia met Han Solo's lips in a soft kiss as the tension climaxed on the tiny television screen that Yusuf had lugged into the warehouse a few days earlier, but the only people watching the embrace were Arthur and Eames. The rest of the group were staring at the two of them in amused disbelief. Ariadne shared a knowing glance with Saito, a smirk forming on her lips, Yusuf cleared his throat, choking back a deep chuckle and Cobb pinched the bridge of his nose, his head shaking as he groaned slightly.

The point man flicked his eyes up at the noise, shifting a little as he noticed all the eyes in the room were trained on himself and the forger sitting next to him. His brows furrowed as he scanned through his memories of the last few minutes, looking for something he'd done wrong. Finding nothing untoward, his eyes slid over to Eames, making sure his hands weren't in..._inappropriate _places. As it happened, they were folded quite neatly in his lap, seemingly innocent and completely un-Eames-like. Confusion was openly flowing through his veins now, if he hadn't done anything and Eames wasn't publicly molesting him, then what on earth were they all staring at? Feeling too nervous under the strength of the collected gaze, he opened his palms out in a physical question.

"What?" he groused, feeling entirely uncomfortable at this point. Eames' head snapped up as though he'd been rudely kicked out of a dream, eyebrows raising as he too noticed the visages of his team mates. The rest of the group glanced around them and at each other, obviousness written all over there faces tangling together with a hidden secret of hilarity. Ariadne angled her head at the two men, face arranged so as to indicate amazement, irking Arthur to no end. He hated not being in the loop.

"What!" he stressed, arms spreading out further. Yusuf chuckled to himself openly, spurring on splutters from a few other team members. Ariadne seemed to take pity on Arthur due to his turbulent expression.

"Dude...that _scene_" she began, eyes narrow with amusement. Arthur shook his head with a sense of a huge lack of understanding. The petite woman rolled her eyes at him, not willing to cater to the handsome man's characteristic obliviousness when it came to Eames.

"Oh come on, man! If we gave Han a British accent and changed 'your worship' to 'darling', that could've been real life!"

Arthur's nose scrunched up, Ariadne's words only adding to his befuddlement. Cobb sighed deeply in exasperation, the notion this could go on for a while urging him to just tell the poor little guy.

"Arthur, they basically stole the words right out of your..._exchanges_ with Eames" the blond explained, the others creasing up laughing again at the look of disgusted shock that had manifested on Arthur's perfectly preened face. Eames' expression melted from perplexity into a large, wolfish grin, clearly seeing the correlation for himself, joining in with the game. He reclined in his chair, head tilting towards Arthur.

"Well I am a bit of a _scoundrel_, aren't I, pet?" he smirked at a now very flustered point man, who glowered back at him.

"You're all completely ridiculous" Arthur grumbled, arms folding in agitation, hoping he was doing something to distract the howling idiots away from the pout threatening to slide onto his face and the florid flush creeping up his neck.

He felt Eames' hand come to rest amiably on his thigh, patting him slightly, earning him a ripened glare from the younger man.

"Oh, don't be like that, dearest." Eames crooned in faux-concern, his lewd smile barely contained as he continued to taunt the American, wishing this had come to his attention sooner "I for one think you'd make a _lovely_ slave girl." Saito barked out a rumbling laugh which was soon joined by a chorus of giggles as the team tried desperately not to picture _that_ scenario and the jibes continued to pour out of everyone's mouths and, oh dear god, they'd created a monster.

Arthur shoved Eames' hand off his knee, his face dark with a blend of vexation and embarrassment as he focused his eyes on the television set, sternly blotting out the uproarious calamity surrounding him and silently wishing he had never agreed to come to this goddamn stupid movie night.

XXX

A few hours later Arthur was sweeping up popcorn from the floor, having taken it upon himself to clean after the band of chimpanzees that had vacated the warehouse for now after he realised they oh so evidently had no plans of cleaning up after _themselves_. His face still held traces of grudging annoyance at the shenanigans that had taken place that evening. He should've know those people he for some foolish reason called his friends had a scheme up their sleeves to turn a seemingly harmless film like Star Wars into a way of pissing him off. Somehow, he felt he needed to blame Eames.

The brunet exhaled as he straightened the skewered chairs, having already disposed of the snack food-mess, and rested his hands on top of one of them. He found himself pausing for a moment, dreading the onslaught of comments he'd receive tomorrow. Oh god, Eames was going to be insufferable for weeks. He let out a quite noise expressing his displeasure and let his head fall down to his chest. Just then, two strong, warm arms slid around his own, leaning on the chair and his body stiffened as he felt a nicely muscled torso press up against his back. Plump lips slid along his neck and Arthur told himself there was no way he could've kept in that groan, not with _this_ man at such close proximity, even if he was rather mad at him. He tilted his head back, resting it against the top of the other man's skull and cursed himself for giving in so easily.

"Love" Eames whispered into his tingling flesh, "You know we were only joking." Arthur sighed and pursed his lips in scepticism before placing his hand on top of Eames', letting him know all was forgiven. He felt the British man's lips curl into a smile and he was about to respond when he was spun around and shoved back against the chair, drawing out a surprised yelp from him at the sudden movement. Eames was grinning at him, lustful blue eyes roaming down his body, tongue exposed in his mouth. With a shamelessly seducing finger, he traced a pattern over the younger man's chest and abdominals with a flirtatiousness mastered only by the annoyingly gorgeous, irritatingly laid back and utterly charming Mr Eames.

"I would, however" he began, a slight purr coating his voice as his mouth moved just next to Arthur's lips, brushing his peach cheeks, his hips canting towards the point man's, "_love_ to see you in a gold bikini...Princess."

And Arthur really couldn't deny him that fantasy, now, could he?

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**A/N: Man, I haven't written crack in ages, that was weird. xD I'm so tempted to write the sex scene with Arthur dressed up as Leia. XD The inception_kink meme has seriously taken over my life. I've filled four prompts in the past day. D: What is _wronngg_ with me? Stand by for more, I guess. And the next chapter of Intervals should be posted tomorrow or Tuesday. Reviews are lovely, lovely things.**


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